Networking Without Feeling Fake
Networking is not schmoozing — it is relationship-building. Learn to do it authentically.
Most veterans hate the word "networking." It sounds transactional, performative, and fake. Real networking is none of those things. It is relationship-building — and veterans are already exceptionally good at it. They just do not call it that.
Informational Interviews: The Most Underused Tool
An informational interview is a 20–30 minute conversation with someone who works in a field, company, or role you are interested in. The purpose is to learn — not to ask for a job. This distinction is critical. When you approach someone asking for a job, you are asking them to do something for you. When you approach someone asking to learn from their experience, you are offering them something: the chance to share their expertise and help someone.
Most people are genuinely happy to help someone who is curious and respectful of their time. The key is to make the request easy to say yes to: be specific about what you want to learn, keep the time commitment short (20 minutes), and make it clear you are not asking for a job referral.
Sample outreach message: "Hi [Name] — I'm a [branch] veteran transitioning into [field]. I came across your profile and was impressed by your path from [background] to [current role]. I'd love to ask you a few questions about your experience — would you be open to a 20-minute call at your convenience? No agenda other than learning from someone who has done what I'm trying to do."
After the informational interview: send a thank-you note within 24 hours, stay in touch periodically (share an article they might find interesting, update them on your progress), and ask if there is anyone else they would recommend you speak with. One informational interview often leads to three more.
Veteran Networking Groups
Veteran professional networks are one of the most valuable and underused resources available to transitioning veterans. These networks provide warm connections with people who understand your background, speak your language, and are often actively looking to help fellow veterans.
American Corporate Partners (ACP) matches veterans with mentors from major corporations for year-long mentoring relationships. The Veterans of Foreign Wars (VFW) and American Legion have professional networking programs. LinkedIn has dozens of veteran professional groups. Many industries have veteran-specific professional associations.
Local veteran service organizations (VSOs) often have professional networking events. The VA's Transition Assistance Program (TAP) includes networking resources. Many cities have veteran business councils and professional networks.
Do not limit yourself to veteran-only networks. Industry-specific professional associations, alumni networks, and community organizations are all valuable networking venues. The veteran identity is an asset in these contexts — it differentiates you and often generates goodwill.
Online vs. In-Person Networking
Both online and in-person networking have distinct advantages. Online networking — primarily through LinkedIn — is scalable, accessible, and allows you to connect with people regardless of geography. In-person networking builds deeper relationships faster and is more memorable.
For online networking: LinkedIn is the primary platform. Send personalized connection requests, engage with content, participate in groups, and reach out directly to people you want to connect with. A brief, specific message explaining why you want to connect is far more effective than the default connection request.
For in-person networking: industry conferences, professional association events, veteran hiring events, alumni gatherings, and community events are all opportunities. The goal at any in-person networking event is not to collect business cards — it is to have two or three genuine conversations. Quality over quantity.
The most effective networking combines both: meet someone online, have a video or phone call, then meet in person when possible. Each step deepens the relationship.
Following Up: Where Most Networking Dies
The most common networking mistake is failing to follow up. You meet someone interesting, have a great conversation, exchange contact information — and then never reach out again. The relationship dies before it starts.
Follow up within 24–48 hours of any networking interaction. Reference something specific from your conversation. Express genuine appreciation. Suggest a next step if appropriate.
Maintain your network over time. A relationship that only activates when you need something is not a relationship — it is a transaction. Stay in touch with your network even when you are not job searching: share relevant articles, congratulate people on milestones, check in periodically.
A simple system: keep a list of your 20–30 most important professional relationships. Set a reminder to reach out to each person every 2–3 months — even just a brief message. Consistent, low-effort maintenance keeps relationships warm without requiring significant time.
Yolanda was convinced she was bad at networking. She was quiet, she hated small talk, and the idea of walking into a room full of strangers and "working the room" made her want to stay home. Her mentor reframed it: "You are not bad at networking. You are bad at performing. Those are different things." Yolanda started with informational interviews — one-on-one conversations where she could be genuinely curious and direct. She was excellent at them. She asked good questions, listened carefully, and followed up thoughtfully. Within three months, she had a network of 15 people in her target field who knew her name, respected her, and were actively looking for ways to help her. She never worked a room. She never had to.
Networking Action Plan
- 1
Identify 3 people you want to have informational interviews with. Write a personalized outreach message for each. Send them this week.
- 2
Join one veteran professional network or LinkedIn group relevant to your target field. Introduce yourself in the group.
- 3
Identify one in-person networking event (industry conference, veteran hiring event, professional association meeting) in your area in the next 60 days. Register for it.
- 4
Review your existing network. Identify 5 people you have not been in touch with in the last 6 months. Send each a brief, genuine check-in message.
- 5
After your next networking interaction, send a follow-up note within 24 hours. Write it now so you are ready.
- Informational interviews are the most underused networking tool — approach them as learning conversations, not job requests.
- Veteran professional networks provide warm connections with people who understand your background.
- Follow up within 24–48 hours of every networking interaction — this is where most networking dies.
- Maintain your network consistently, not just when you need something.
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